How Your Friends Can Make or Break Your Life (And What to Do About It) 🙌

Photo by Zachary Nelson on Unsplash

Friends can make or break your life. They can be your greatest allies or your worst enemies. They can help you achieve your dreams or ruin your plans. They can make you happy or miserable. How can you tell the difference? And how can you find and keep the best friends for you?

Here is a summary of what you will learn in this article:

• Friends can make or break your life, so choose them wisely.
• A good friend will help you get your life together, have honest conversations with you, and support you, respect you, and love you.
• A bad friend will get in the way of your progress, lie to you, manipulate you, and discourage you, pressure you, and use you.
• To choose your friends wisely, be selective, proactive, yourself, supportive, and loyal.

You are about to discover some amazing stories of how friends can make or break your life, and some practical tips on how to choose your friends wisely.

Do They Help You Get Your Life Together?

One of the most important roles of a friend is to help you get your life together. A good friend will support you, inspire you, and motivate you to pursue your goals and passions. A bad friend will interfere with your progress, discourage you, and make you doubt yourself.

Let’s look at some examples:

• Alex had a dream of becoming a musician. He had a lot of talent and passion, but he lacked courage and exposure. He rarely performed in public and uploaded his songs online. He was afraid of rejection and criticism. His friend Ben was also a musician, and he encouraged Alex to join a band, to take online lessons, and to submit his songs to radio stations and contests. Ben also gave Alex constructive feedback and praise on his music. He was Alex’s biggest fan and mentor. He always cheered him up and pushed him forward. Thanks to Ben’s help, Alex improved his skills, built his fanbase, and eventually signed a record deal. He dedicated his first album to Ben, who was the first to listen to it and give him a high-five. He also invited Ben to join his band and tour with him.
• Kelly had a dream of becoming a manager. She worked hard, got good results, and was put up for promotion by her boss. Her friend Nina worked in the same company, but she was not happy for Kelly. Nina felt insecure and jealous of Kelly’s success and tried to hold her back. Nina discouraged Kelly from applying for the promotion, telling her that she was not ready or qualified. She also made Kelly feel guilty for spending more time on her work than on their friendship. She was Kelly’s worst friend and obstacle. She always put her down and pulled her back. Because of Nina’s influence, Kelly started to doubt herself and lose motivation. She almost gave up on the promotion, but she realized that Nina was not a true friend. She decided to follow her dream and ignore Nina’s negativity. She impressed her boss and became a manager. She ended her friendship with Nina and found better friends.

As you can see, Alex’s friend Ben helped him get his life together, while Kelly’s friend Nina got in the way. Who would you rather have as a friend?

So, how can you tell if your friends are helping you or hindering you? Here are some signs to look out for:

• They encourage you to pursue your dreams and passions, or they discourage you and make you doubt yourself.
• They celebrate your achievements and compliment your strengths, or they envy your success and criticize your flaws.
• They respect your choices and opinions, or they pressure you to conform and agree with them.
• They motivate you to improve yourself and learn new things, or they make you feel complacent and stagnant.

If you have friends who help you get your life together, cherish them and reciprocate their support. If you have friends who get in the way, distance yourself from them and find better ones.

Do They Have Honest Conversations With You?

Photo by Saeed Karimi on Unsplash

Another important role of a friend is to have honest conversations with you. A good friend will tell you the truth, even if it hurts, and care about your well-being, even if it means sacrificing their own comfort. A bad friend will lie to you, manipulate you, or use you for their own benefit.

Let’s look at some examples:

• Emma had a problem with alcohol. She drank too much, too often, and it affected her health, her work, and her relationships. She was in denial and refused to admit that she had a problem. Her friend Sarah was worried about her and decided to talk to her. Sarah told Emma that she loved her and that she was concerned about her drinking. She suggested that Emma should seek professional help and offered to go with her. Sarah also supported Emma throughout her recovery and helped her stay sober. She was Emma’s best friend and savior. She always cared for her and helped her.
• Ryan had a problem with gambling. He gambled too much, too often, and it affected his finances, his career, and his family. He was addicted and refused to stop. His friend Tom was not worried about him and decided to take advantage of him. Tom told Ryan that he had a sure bet and that he should join him. He convinced Ryan to borrow money from his wife and to gamble it all on a game. Tom also cheated Ryan out of his winnings and left him in debt. He was Ryan’s worst friend and enemy. He always lied to him and used him.

As you can see, Emma’s friend Sarah had an honest conversation with her, while Ryan’s friend Tom lied to him. Who would you rather have as a friend?

So, how can you tell if your friends are honest and caring, or dishonest and selfish? Here are some signs to look out for:

• They are open and transparent with you, or they are secretive and deceptive with you.
• They give you constructive feedback and advice, or they give you false praise and flattery.
• They apologize when they make mistakes and forgive you when you make mistakes, or they blame you for everything and hold grudges against you.
• They share their feelings and thoughts with you, or they hide their emotions and intentions from you.

If you have friends who have honest conversations with you, appreciate them and be honest with them. If you have friends who don’t, confront them or cut them off.

How to Choose Your Friends Wisely

Your friends can make or break your life. They can influence your happiness, your health, your success, and your growth. Choose friends who lift you up, not drag you down. Choose friends who love you, not use you. Choose friends who make you better, not worse. 🙌

Here are some tips on how to choose your friends wisely:

• Be selective. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Don’t be afraid to say no to people who don’t treat you well or who don’t share your values. Quality is more important than quantity when it comes to friendships. By being selective, you can avoid wasting your time and energy on people who don’t deserve your friendship. You can also protect yourself from people who might harm you or hurt you. You can have higher standards and expectations for your friends and yourself.
• Be proactive. Don’t wait for friends to come to you. Seek out people who have similar interests, passions, and goals as you. Join clubs, groups, or communities where you can meet like-minded people. Reach out to people who inspire you or who you admire. By being proactive, you can expand your social circle and network. You can also discover new opportunities and experiences that might enrich your life. You can have more choices and chances to find your friends and yourself.
• Be yourself. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not to fit in or to please others. Be authentic, honest, and genuine. Show your personality, your strengths, and your weaknesses. Let people see the real you and appreciate you for who you are. By being yourself, you can attract and keep people who like you and love you for you. You can also avoid and reject people who don’t accept you or respect you for you. You can have more confidence and comfort in your own skin and in your own shoes.
• Be supportive. Don’t be selfish or jealous of your friends. Be happy for their success and help them overcome their challenges. Be there for them when they need you and expect the same from them. Celebrate their achievements and comfort them in their struggles. By being supportive, you can show your friends that you care about them and value them. You can also find out if they care about you and value you in return. You can have more happiness and harmony in your friendships and in your life.
• Be loyal. Don’t gossip or spread rumors about your friends. Don’t talk behind their backs or share their secrets. Don’t flirt with their partners or compete with them. Don’t abandon them or betray them. You stick with them through thick and thin. By being loyal, you can show your friends that you trust them and respect them. You can also find out if they trust you and respect you in return. You can have more honesty and fidelity in your friendships and in your life.

I hope you enjoyed this article and found it helpful. If you did, please share it with your friends and leave a comment below. Thank you for reading! 😊

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• 2022-01-12 Created V1 of notes
• 2024-02-14 Created V2 of notes