Relationships

Friends and relationships.

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Question

Like vs Love

The difference between I like you and I love you

Instagram - Jay Shetty on The difference between Like and Love

’’’ Whats the difference between I like you and I love you.

Which is a brilliant question.

The Buddha replied, when you like a flower you simply pluck it. But, when you love a flower, you water it everyday.

The one night stand, the porn, the dopamine hit, the release of chemicals is the plucking of the flower.

But, the watering the intimacy, developing intimacy, growing from the entertainment to experiments, to experiences to education, to engaging in service together

all of this creates so much intimacy that the physical intimacy is a natural byproduct. Its not something you have to manage, or engineer, or manufacture. Like it’s not a separate thing.

Its based on how close I feel to you. ‘’’

Red Flags

Reasons to Stay Alone

Reasons to stay alone

Couples shoudl join for the right reason rather than because they are terrified of being alone.

  1. Romantic love is a dangerous illusion (everyone will have flaws that are noticeable after a lon period of time.)
  2. No one thinks their partner is terrific after a while
  3. We aren’t sane enough to be in relationships (sign of greater maturity to know that this is something you are not capable of)
  4. Being alone means not inflicting yourself onto others
  5. Relationships spoil love.

The Charms of Unavailable People: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8vlLU6yEXY Most romantic moments are with people with people you’ll never be with. The obstacles make you love someone more because real love in teh world is not possible. The external obstacles give them security to surrender themselves totally to feelings that they would have kept at bay if the obstacles were removed.

To feel a lot for someone who is available is a highly flammable requirement. They might trust someone for many years then find that they promptly leave or die in the night. This would make it difficult to carry on because we would have given them the keys to self confidence and direction.

Most of us don’t have histories to make us robust enough to enter situations where mutual trust is a risk where we can dare to endure day to day

Impossible situations feel so romantic not because we found a soul mate but because the absence of risk has loosened our hearts.

Dating Apps

There is No Perfect

There is no perfect. There will always be struggle. You just have to pick who you want to struggle with.

Instagram Post - Interview on Perfect Relationship

The Most Selfish Thing You Can Do In A Relationship

“As social animals we like taking care of others.”

I dated somebody who, if I ask here how is she, “Great,” was the only answer she ever gave me. That’s all and it actually made it very difficult for me to get closer to her. Because I knew she was having a bad days. I could tell she was frustrated and she is. And so when somebody puts on that brave face and wants to be great for their partner. It’s the most selfish thing you could do because you’re denying them that awesome joy of being able to be there for you.

Remember, as social animals, we want to take care of the people we love.

How dare you deny them the unbelievable honor of getting to sit in the mud with you. You know what it is. It is a joy that human beings get to experience. And you can by the way, the biology proves it, that one of the things that releases oxytocin, that feeling of love and connection and trust, is shared struggle. Sure

Allow others to know your struggle.

Instagram Post - Simon Sinek Sharing your struggle

Relationships Make Life Meaningful

“Whatever you do in this life, it’s not legendary unless your friends are there to see it.” - Barney Stinson from “How I Met Your Mother” (“Sunrise,” the 17th episode of the 9th and final season)

“Geek wisdom: Life can be good by yourself. But, like everything else, the best experiences are always the ones you share with others.”

Journal